Civilian
by Crimson Eyed Sakura
Summary: Jo is used to a hunter's life, dealing with everything supernatural. Suddenly, she is smacked with the realization that even hunters are human. Character death, compliant with Abandon All Hope...


Jo stared up at the ceiling, clenching her fists at her sides as she listened to the nurses prepare for the exam. She felt her heart race at the sound of the door opening as the doctor entered the room. Mentally, she scoffed.

_"You're a hunter, for God's sake. Man up and get this done!"_

The mental pep talk did little to soothe her fear. Yeah, she was a hunter, but that was easy. Get hurt? Stitch it up. Rub some dirt on it. Keep going.

This? This was human. _Civilian_. None of the things she had encountered as a hunter could help her here.

A hand on her arm jolted her. Looking up, she saw the comforting smile on the nurse's face as the doctor spoke. "Okay, Miss Owens, we're about to start."

Jo's breath hitched. Tears built up in her eyes as she began to wish her mother was here with her. _"Why did I leave? So stupid. I miss my mom..."_

Cold metal touched her inner thigh. The doctor warned her of the coming pressure, but the words did nothing to prepare her for the pain of the foreign object being inserted into her body. A low whine escaped her throat. Her eyes closed in embarrassment, but the nurse at her side rubbed her arm soothingly.

The doctor kept up a running commentary on the procedure, even going so far as to pat her foot encouragingly. As much as the young hunter wanted to dismiss the hand, she couldn't deny the small amount of comfort it brought. With her eyes closed, she could even pretend it was Ellen.

Five minutes later, the uncomfortable pressure was removed and the nurse gave a final pat to her arm before moving to clean up the room.

"We'll give you a call in around ten days with the results. Give yourself a few minutes, then you can get dressed. Take it easy for the next few days, okay?" the doctor said with a smile.

Jo smiled weakly in return as she waited for the room to clear. Once she was alone, her eyes welled with tears again. Brushing them stubbornly away, she stood and made to grab her clothes. A warmth running down her legs stopped her in her tracks. Nausea gripped her as she glanced down and saw the blood dripping down her thighs. Even knowing that it was normal, expected as a result of that procedure, Jo felt a wave of hysteria wash over her.

It took a few minutes to get a grip on herself and clean up. She tugged her jeans on roughly, wincing when her abdomen protested the treatment. With her head held high, she walked from the room.

**############**

Ten days later, thirty minutes before her shift at the bar, Jo's phone rang. Her heart sank when she recognized the number. She answered with a slight waver in her voice, listening as the nurse told her the results of her lab work. When the call was over, Jo had another appointment in six months and a sinking feeling in her gut.

She was pre-cancerous.

That night, after her shift, the young girl - too young, really, to deal with this on her own - thumbed her keypad up and down, highlighting her mother's number, then darting back away from it. With a huff, she flipped the phone closed and tossed it onto the table before crawling into bed.

Six months passed quickly. Sam - who wasn't really Sam at all - found her. Taunted her. Laughed at the pain in her eyes. Dean showed up to save the day. Jo hesitated as he prepared to leave, wanting to ask him to stay, to go with her the next day to her next appointment. But she couldn't do that. Hunters were loners. They had to be strong. Jo didn't want Dean to know just how weak she really was.

Jo smiled through the hurt and longing as Dean walked away.

**###########**

The next year and a half was interspersed with doctor's appointments and a useless sort of hope that maybe this time, she would be free and clear. Until, on one visit, it was so much worse than ever before.

Jo went home the next day. Showing up at Ellen's doorstep, she smiled when her mother opened the door and jerked her into a hug. She didn't tell her mother why she was home. Ellen didn't ask.

It was only when they sat together in a hardware store, Jo bleeding out and Ellen a crying mess, that the daughter finally came clean.

"Mom, I'm dying."

"Hush. Don't you say that. This ain't over yet, Joanna Beth."

Jo huffed an aborted laugh. "I'm not talking about this scratch. I...I have cancer, Mom. That's why I came home." Jo closed her eyes, feeling the wet warmth of tears tracking down her face. "I like this way better. Blaze of glory, and all that."

Ellen clenched her jaw to hold in the anguished cry that stewed in her throat. After a few moments, she tightened her fingers on Jo's and made up her mind.

Their last bit of time together was bittersweet. Jo felt her heart shatter at the boys' goodbyes. Sam, so sweet and sad. Dean's soft and loving kiss. Though she protested, Jo was secretly glad that Ellen was staying. At least this time, her mom would be with her at the end of something big. Jo took in a deep breath, basking in the familiar smell of her mother - of _home_ - and knew no more.

Ellen smiled sadly and clutched her brave little girl to her as she pressed the button.

_"Blaze of glory, indeed."_

* * *

Oh god I made myself cry. Not quite where I was going when I started this! I just wanted a little drabble of Jo having to go through normal, human female stuff like a visit to the gynecologist and this SOB came out. So very sorry.


End file.
